I Think This Is For Real

Up until this afternoon, there was always a glimmer of uncertainty -- would there be one more thing that could stop us? Jon had already powered through his sore throat of last week, never getting anything stuck in his chest. He has been hunkered down at home, staying away from all the holiday and family gatherings. Still they made him have a CT scan of his sinuses and his chest to make sure there was nothing lingering there that would make this whole business too risky. Plus a few days ago he sliced off the tip of his finger while shredding something with a mandolin. He's not even supposed to be using a real razor so he can minimize the risk of cuts. That finger bled and bled and he finally had to give in and go to Urgent Care to have it bandaged the next morning (he was there anyway for the CT scans, so no extra trips). By the middle of today, we still didn't have direct confirmation that he was cleared to go.

But we had already organized our exit, even if we hadn't packed by the middle of the day. I gave my sourdough starter to a CSA customer to babysit for the month, we emptied the stove of ashes, made sure there were plenty of eggs in the sales refrigerators, all those diddly things. There was nothing we could really do to make Rebecca's life easier but we did leave a refrigerator full of leftovers to give her a running start on the first few days.

The scan results came in slowly -- his chest is clear and things look good. The scheduler said to go ahead and start the process, come to Baltimore, get the PICC line put in. We will see what the doctors say about the acute sinusitis.  So we packed up in our usual way, stuffing bags with things we might not need but traveling by car is so easy, not like cramming everything into a carry-on bag. We even brought Alissa's keyboard so I can practice. When we were about 10 minutes away from the hotel, the scheduler called and said he is cleared to go.

We have already been to this hotel twice before, so we know the drill. Checked in easily, threw our stuff into the room and marched over to the hospital for the 4:15 appointment. The last time Jon had a PICC line put in, he was in the hospital for extreme malnutrition and he has almost no memory of the process. It took longer than he remembered, this time, and it was uncomfortable because for some reason his arms are really sore and don't like to be lifted up much. This will need to be addressed later...

But what's important is that we are here, and it feels like this time it will really happen. Tomorrow starts a three day series of chemo. All the usual things are expected: hair loss, GI issues, malaise, loss of appetite. But knowing what will happen generally makes it less stressful.

Leaving Rebecca and Thalia to fend for themselves, that's no fun. They will be fine, people will visit, and Rebecca will get to clear some surfaces that drive her crazy. She plans to throw out one jar of condiments every day.  

Right now we have to go back to Peter Chang's because it is highly possible that Jon won't want to eat anything fun pretty soon. That restaurant is literally a half block from where I am sitting now (in a deluxe corner suite, looking north).