One Whole Trip Around the Sun
A year ago today, February 5, I had an endometrial biopsy because there were unsolved mysteries in my belly. A week later we learned that I actually had cancer and one week after that they took it all out. It was the shortest distance between diagnosis and treatment/cure that one could imagine. I like to say that I had cancer for six days. And that was how this blog got rolling. I entertained myself from the couch for weeks with this.
At the end of March I was given permission to get back in the swimming pool, which was the best news ever and also during that month I started to go for acupuncture naps. By April, I was back to my two-farm life and my calendar tells me I went to Loudoun twelve times that month. It was a delicious spring and we charged into it, planting things early and getting away with all sorts of risky farmer behavior.
Way back when I was taking pain meds, Jon repeatedly said that I was unusually effusive. And I said that wasn't irrational, it was a reasonable response. I had expected to endure a much longer recovery, and there had been talk of chemotherapy and radiation. I thought my summer was going to be filled with unpleasant realities. Maybe I was going to be stuck indoors, and in a chair with an IV in my arm.
Instead, I was set free, back into my world of ruffling up the soil while sitting high up on a tractor seat, then watching bean seeds pop up in straight long rows, and later watching other people haul loads of mulch around, basically doing just the things I wanted to do. It was an incredible reprieve.
I didn't notice until Jon finally pointed it out -- we forgot to take a day off together until early September. Back when Jon got sick (ten years ago), the lesson I took from that was that we should be intentional about spending time together, goofing off and having minor adventures. And we were good about going away for 24 hour vacations once a month for a few years. Somehow, when it was my turn to learn from my scary diagnosis, I found that farming full-on was what I wanted to do most. Good thing it was a juicy growing season. That was like the icing on the cake.
But when the season was over, I was ready for something completely different and luckily Alissa had a bold idea. Even though Jon was not sure this made perfect sense (really far and very expensive), we got it together and went to New Zealand. Here is what I say about that: if someone gives you a nice present of money with no strings, then get yourself to New Zealand in January or February. Europe is nice, lots of old and beautiful buildings but Europe in the winter cannot compare to NZ. It was extraordinary. Every morning we woke up to another day in paradise.
All of this is not to say that I have managed to avoid learning about the disasters that are happening all around us, from domestic politics to climate change to injustices all over the globe. But I know that I am much more capable of coping with these tragic truths than I might have been. And for this I am eternally grateful.
One thing I did NOT manage to do is lose one single pound on this trip around the sun. Well, I did lose some pounds but they all found me again this winter. It is going to take more than one orbit to learn those lessons. I am not allowed to give up, but I sure didn't do it on this try. But if that is my one personal regret about the last year, that is barely worth mentioning. I just thought I should close that loop since I spent some time pondering what it is to be a person with too much fat. Still pondering that.
I am just noting this anniversary and reiterating how grateful I am to be here for another round. And now that I have found out how glorious it is to travel in the summer, maybe that can be a new goal. It was such a treat to see flowers blooming and green grass in the fields and to goof off on days where it didn't get dark until 10 PM. So that's what other people see when they go on vacation. Pretty amazing.
At the end of March I was given permission to get back in the swimming pool, which was the best news ever and also during that month I started to go for acupuncture naps. By April, I was back to my two-farm life and my calendar tells me I went to Loudoun twelve times that month. It was a delicious spring and we charged into it, planting things early and getting away with all sorts of risky farmer behavior.
Way back when I was taking pain meds, Jon repeatedly said that I was unusually effusive. And I said that wasn't irrational, it was a reasonable response. I had expected to endure a much longer recovery, and there had been talk of chemotherapy and radiation. I thought my summer was going to be filled with unpleasant realities. Maybe I was going to be stuck indoors, and in a chair with an IV in my arm.
Instead, I was set free, back into my world of ruffling up the soil while sitting high up on a tractor seat, then watching bean seeds pop up in straight long rows, and later watching other people haul loads of mulch around, basically doing just the things I wanted to do. It was an incredible reprieve.
I didn't notice until Jon finally pointed it out -- we forgot to take a day off together until early September. Back when Jon got sick (ten years ago), the lesson I took from that was that we should be intentional about spending time together, goofing off and having minor adventures. And we were good about going away for 24 hour vacations once a month for a few years. Somehow, when it was my turn to learn from my scary diagnosis, I found that farming full-on was what I wanted to do most. Good thing it was a juicy growing season. That was like the icing on the cake.
But when the season was over, I was ready for something completely different and luckily Alissa had a bold idea. Even though Jon was not sure this made perfect sense (really far and very expensive), we got it together and went to New Zealand. Here is what I say about that: if someone gives you a nice present of money with no strings, then get yourself to New Zealand in January or February. Europe is nice, lots of old and beautiful buildings but Europe in the winter cannot compare to NZ. It was extraordinary. Every morning we woke up to another day in paradise.
All of this is not to say that I have managed to avoid learning about the disasters that are happening all around us, from domestic politics to climate change to injustices all over the globe. But I know that I am much more capable of coping with these tragic truths than I might have been. And for this I am eternally grateful.
One thing I did NOT manage to do is lose one single pound on this trip around the sun. Well, I did lose some pounds but they all found me again this winter. It is going to take more than one orbit to learn those lessons. I am not allowed to give up, but I sure didn't do it on this try. But if that is my one personal regret about the last year, that is barely worth mentioning. I just thought I should close that loop since I spent some time pondering what it is to be a person with too much fat. Still pondering that.
I am just noting this anniversary and reiterating how grateful I am to be here for another round. And now that I have found out how glorious it is to travel in the summer, maybe that can be a new goal. It was such a treat to see flowers blooming and green grass in the fields and to goof off on days where it didn't get dark until 10 PM. So that's what other people see when they go on vacation. Pretty amazing.
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