A Controlled Environment

It has been a huge improvement not to listen to the news on the radio much.  Up until this disruption in normal activities, I listened to NPR all the time.  Now I read the headlines but not much more, for a while.  The best recipe for healing is to never hear the voice that makes me say, reflexively, "he is such an ass." I know that it is our civic duty to stay on top of the news and to be informed and active. But if you want to heal as fast as you can, inside and out, then make sure you never ever hear that voice. Even if blood pressure is no issue, your blood pressure will improve.

Instead, I have been having a lot of engaging conversations with interesting people who are busy doing good stuff. In some ways I have never been more in touch.  I am not a full-on extrovert but these days have shown me a lot about how much I do want to know people, and hear what they are thinking about. I would not be lonely if I were alone all day but I might get pretty antsy. If my list is complete, this is who came to talk to me yesterday (and I am pretty sure I am forgetting some people, so I am sorry in advance): Roz, Becky and Theo, the temple president Eric, nephew Michael, neighbor Helene, brother Charles and nephew Hugh, David and Julie, neighbors Maria, Noel, Betsy, Rhonda, sister Anna, Carrie and Zoey and Olivia (who is standing up and really wanting to pull herself along the furniture, so focused, so strong).

Some would feel overwhelmed by this much talking. But what else am I doing?  I have not picked up my knitting again, partly because the project I started in the waiting room of the hospital is not compelling and I want to do something more interesting and partly because I am just too lazy. I am listening intermittently to Michelle Obama, and I am eating yummy food and swallowing nasty tasting pills.  So the people are the best part of this.

I don't want to sound too optimistic but I think we have rounded a corner on the pain management. Today I will only take Tramadol when I feel like it is time. I still have plenty of other meds but that is the one to try to stop. I am learning not to twist in certain directions that set off a wave of bad consequences with this dagger hole.  Truly, I am probably in less pain than most of the rest of you. I just have a couch sentence to serve.

My niece Julia and nephew Stephen just sent a delightful thank you tome for all that went into their coloveration celebration last June. They don't do anything halfway.  At the end of the long letter, they wrote personal notes (these are people after my own heart) and in it Julia expressed a profound appreciation for the "unfrilly love" that our family shares and gives.  This is precisely how I feel these days. I am the beneficiary of an ocean of unfrilly love and it is the most powerful medicine known to humankind.

Jon says I am still over the top in my expressions of appreciation. Maybe I just got bumped up a level. He will have to adjust.

I keep thinking that I will stop writing this blog until there is some actual news to share.  If I do stop, I promise to send a report on Monday after the appointment with the oncologist.